A tea-related rant that rhymes

A random tea-related rant from a couple years ago that I wanted to salvage before closing down my previous FB profile. It also happens to rhyme.  You’re welcome 😛

FYI, the original version was written on paper, and pinned meaningfully to the cupboard.

***

My dear Gareth Dean
I cannot help but observe
The vast tons of tea
We have in reserve.

From Ceylon to Jasmine
And all of the Greys
(That’s Lady, Earl, and Empress
To non-tea-drinking knaves);
All that Darjeeling, and Peko,
And Morroccan Green Mint;
The strange herbal concoctions
With cardamon hints;
The dark Puer in big cakes,
The sweet oolong in jars;
Assam, plain and black
Or with aniseed stars.

The stash of a lifetime,
The hoard of a king!
We need no more,
Not a single new leaf.
For the tea that we have
Fills cupboards and drawers;
It floods from the shelves
And blocks up the doors.

STOP BUYING TEA –
We have quite enough.
STOP BUYING TEA –
Or we’ll drown in the stuff!
STOP BUYING TEA –
We are seriously skint.
STOP BUYING TEA –
Or your skull I will dent.

STOP

BUYING

TEA!!!!

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